The Problem with Feeling "okay" About Yourself

There is definitely a fine line between challenging someone and judging someone. Over the past couple of years, I had to grapple with how people would react towards something I said, whether they would take it as a challenge or judgment. I think I now know the difference.

Ever since my junior year of high school, where I began taking my faith in God more seriously, I've been making many more bold statements. I became motivated in improving myself, trying to be more like Jesus. I have to say, it's been tough. There has been a lot of doubt, a lot of struggle and importantly, a lot of prayer. It has been a growing experience, as it should and always should be.

I think a major difference in how people receive my statements is primarily due to their current relationship with me. I think many of the statements I make that are taken out of context or not backed up with an explanation can make people feel like I'm being overly judgmental. I think to those who I have a stronger relationship with, the words come to them as a challenge or even just a concept to think about.

Alright, so now I want to talk about the main topic, "The Problem with Feeling 'okay' About Yourself." So, after several years, I've found that I'm pretty good at ministering to guys and I enjoy ministering to guys. I'm not saying I don't enjoy ministering to girls, I don't mind. I just feel like God has given me a gift in men's ministry. The thing about guys though, is that a lot of us are lazy and stubborn. We want to do what we like to do and typically will not budge on our own stances. Many of us feel content with our lives and don't consider changing lifestyles or habits. And then of course, there's the exception, a handful of us who constantly want to improve ourselves and enjoy challenging our habits and lifestyles. I would probably toss myself in this category at the moment. I believe we are meant to change throughout our lives and it's part of life, going through the different lifestages, learning and growing. I definitely don't expect to reach perfection, but it's the journey of drawing closer to Christ, that I seek. So, you can imagine my encounters with many guys. I'm usually kicking their butts, trying to get them to consider other ways to conduct themselves. The biggest challenge: To let them know they aren't "okay" with where they're at in their lives.

I don't see how any of us can feel "okay" with ourselves. It's cutting down the tree of potential before it reaches full growth and bears fruit. It's thoughtless and shortsighted. I just find it troubling. Not only do guys limit their potential, but they also justify it. Many guys like to say, "God made me this way, so yea." I find that response kind of silly. Do people really expect that God made them a certain way that they're going to before the rest of their lives at the age of 20? I mean, there are definitely some attributes that will generally remain, but there are also many things about the person that will change, and should change. There are many lessons to be learned from the environment around you. One lesson I learned is that if you're not growing, you're dying, there is no in between, hiatus period. You can look at all living things as evidence. Life is kind of like a bell curve. One moment your body is growing, the next, it's on the verge of death. A message to Christians: If your spiritual life isn't busting out with an abundance of life and growth, reconsider that your spiritual life may be dying and that you will need to refocus on Jesus, the provider of living water. Jesus says it better than I in John 4:14: "But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him aspring of water welling up to eternal life." The imagery is amazing, "welling up to eternal life."

At no extent am I saying that whenever I challenge someone, that's exactly what he should do. It's more of providing an alternate perspective, maybe something that he never considered and could be a next step in growing closer to Christ. As Christians, we are a community that should build each other up. As hard as it is even for myself to receive challenges, I welcome them, knowing it's something I may want to consider. A few things to keep in mind though: Develop the relationship, otherwise what could be challenging words could be seen as overly critical, judgments. Speak with truth, not whatever you determine is true, but truth from the Bible. Use the Bible to back up what you say, so it's not just stuff you're pulling from the air, but it has the word of God behind it. Pray for those who receive it and for how you deliver the message. It's important to choose your words carefully and to let the receiver know you are challenging him because you love him.

Speak out of love and not of selfish ambition. Maybe someone has an annoying habit. Don't challenge them because you want them to stop being so annoying, but because the challenge will sincerely help them draw closer to Jesus.

Life with Jesus is a transforming experience. Be eager to grow and live for God, never settling just to be "okay."

Being Right With God

Live Out Love